Rob Ruhmann

Dit is mijn persoonlijke pagina, hier vind je wat achtergrond informatie.

 

Na mijn 21 daags proces in november 2004 werd ik door mijn gids in India – Krishnaraj- gevraagd een verslag van mijn “spirituele” reis te maken voor een “eventueel” boek wat men in India wilde uitgeven.
Het is daarom in het Engels, maar ik wil het toch graag op de site zetten omdat het misschien tot inspiratie voor anderen kan leiden. Zelf ben ik n.l. door- wat toen nog maar een manuscript was- Kiara Windrider’s boek “Vuur uit de Hemel” zo enthousiast geworden dat ik meteen de cursus wilde gaan doen.

Dear Krishnarajji,
Herewith I send you some notes of my journey. Feel free to take parts out or do whatever you think is best. Hope to hear from you again.
With lots of love, that Amma Bhagavan ‘s grace may come upon the whole world.
Rob.

The spiritual journey from Rob Rühmann

My search began right from birth in seeking for happiness as is the case with everybody. That is why I became a mate on board of a ship to find my happiness at the other end of the world. Very soon I discovered that it could not be found somewhere else, it had to do with me. But it took some time before I started to look within. So I learned TM (Transcendental Meditation) in 1975, liked it so much that I became a TM-teacher in 1977. When I heard Maharishi saying “BLISS”, I knew that was what I wanted. I didn’t know what it exactly meant, but I wanted it.

I was happy being a TM-teacher, initiating over 1000 people, following a lot of TM-courses myself, undergoing Pancha Karma treatments and so on. But after 20 years I was not “enlightened” yet. My idea of enlightenment was being like Maharishi that is something very special, knowing everything, living in accordance with nature and so on. So I started to visit a lot of “Advaita teachers” and all of them told the same story. There is no “you”, the ego is something from the mind. I read also lots of spiritual books and after a few years I “knew” what enlightenment was as a concept. But Maharishi always said it was something to live, not to have as a concept. I became so disappointed that I stopped reading, stopped going after this and that.
And then somewhere in may 2001 I woke up in the morning and knew something had happened but I didn’t know what it was. I started to squeeze some oranges as I did for the last 15 years with a sort of mixer. I had to put three parts together to do that, but I couldn’t figure it out. I had to try several times before succeeding and I laughed and laughed.
Maharishi often said about enlightenment: “It can happen overnight” and I used that phrase always during my TM-instructions.
Life was nicer than before, there was more relaxation; but still there was somebody witnessing everything; there still was “a mind” with comments on what was happening.

In January 2003 there were big changes in the TM-movement, there were no more people who started with TM due to an enormous raise in price. I didn’t feel good with it and was waiting for something to happen to me, because for so long I was involved in spiritual practises.
In September 2004 I got a manuscript from Kiara Windrider from our TM-chairman Jacques Uijen and heard that Jacques was in India. When I read the manuscript I knew that this was what I was waiting for.
Within two weeks I got deeksha’s from Philippe de Vos from France and Rosemarijn van Wezemael from Belgium,  because the first Dutch group was still in India. End of October I went to a Bulldozer weekend with Freddy Nielsen. All the time I tried to register for the 21 day process in November but it was not possible. Suddenly there was a possibility for a few people to go to India and I was one of them.
We were so privileged to stay in Anandaloka 3 where Bhagavan also lives. So every Wednesday and Saturday we had Darshan with Bhagavan, which was so beautiful. More over during the course we were in small groups personally accompanied by the dasa’s; our dasa was Krishnaraj.
The whole process was so incredibly deep and each day more and more stillness, peace and oneness were experienced.
It started with a couple of days Samskarashuddi with Radhakrishna, which went very smooth. Then the deeksha’s were given and that was really so wonderful.
In 1978 I learned to practise the TM-sidhi’s: sutra’s-short sentences, words-thought from the level of the transcendence, which could give deep experiences. I practised the sidhi’s for over 20 years without results.

 

In India during the 21 day process after the very first deeksha’s I came to know what sidhi’s were meant for. Here are some experiences:

During lying down after the first deeksha’s in India, when Krishnaraj came and suggested to say:
“You are not the body”. Immediately I was blown away in space, it was a tremendous feeling. I don’t know how long this state continued but I was lying there for hours. By coming back there was an experience of hearing the sound of the cd which was playing inside myself with every cell of my body, instead of outside with my ears.

After the second deeksha there was a feeling as if everything in my brain was taken out and the top of my head was gone, so it was in direct contact with the whole universe. There was an enormous silence, emptiness, freedom.

After the third deeksha during lying down, Krishnaraj said: “Ask Amma Bhagavan
to give you an experience of Samadhi”. Again immediately I was totally gone for a long time. Krishnaraj noticed what happened, he later told me my breath immediately slowed down. I was lying in a strange, uncomfortable posture and later when he whispered something to me, “I” slowly came back.

After the fourth deeksha : “ Amma Bhagavan makes me see my thoughts are not my thoughts, my mind is not my mind and my body is not my body.” What happened was that there was the awareness of pain in different parts in the body, but there was no thinker. It just was bodily experiences without a person. And then by: “Amma Bhagavan gives me an experience beyond time and space” I again was gone completely. After a certain time thru bodily sensations there was again awareness but there was nobody, no person anymore.

After the fifth deeksha: “ Amma Bhagavan makes me see I am not a person but a lot of personalities” “I” totally became numb, everything dissolved, and there was only nothingness.
The next day everything was different, there was still more silence, more emptiness, there was just nobody anymore. When I talked about this with Krishnaraj, he said: “This is the state”. Then there was so much love, so much
happiness.

After the sixth deeksha: “Ask God to reveal to you the oneness with him” and “Ask Amma Bhagavan to be friends” so much love flooded in.

After the seventh deeksha: “Ask Amma Bhagavan to fill your whole body with Golden Light” and Krishnaraj giving me a hug so much compassion was there.

After the eighth deeksha to end all craving, there was this very deep peace, this knowing that it is okay the way it is; the feeling it is all over now.

Deeksha nine was very, very special; the very first time it was given: the induction of a higher being. To be able to feel and give more compassion and love.
I was totally gone for hours, just lying on the floor. I still can’t comprehend what had actually happened then.

Three days later I was back in Holland again, where on the day of arrival I  had a meeting in our meditation centre and gave deeksha which was really wonderful.
I had a week off from work in which I only enjoyed being in total bliss all the time.
Gradually “I” was coming back on earth and able to function normally again.

It is so fulfilling to give deeksha, in our centre we are now with 6 (six) deeksha-givers!
They went in January to India and in August another one is going.
So we have given deeksha to hundreds of people already and it is so rewarding to see people change, becoming more happy, more in oneness.
I have also participated in some events with Kiara and Grace for groups of two- till four hundred people.
It is amazing to see the power of deeksha increase so fast.
My life is so rewarding now, everything is going so naturally, nothing has to be done by “me”. Everything is taken care of.

I am very, very grateful to Amma Bhagavan, Krishnaraj as my guide and everybody who made this 21 day process to what it was, the dissolving of me and the beginning of LIVING IN JOY!

 

A few sentences about my present situation:
In being a TM-teacher for 27 years I initiated over 1000 people into TM.
When I received the boon deeksha I had to give something in return and I promised Amma Bhagavan at first to give deeksha to over 1000 people in 27 months. After some calculating I changed that into 27 weeks.
I did the 21 days process in November 2004 and now at the beginning of May 2005 I have already given deeksha to over 1000 people. Moreover the deeksha’s are becoming stronger by the day.

My love and gratitude towards Amma Bhagavan are beyond words.

Rob Rühmann